Some of the most heartbreaking news that doulas received along with the outbreak of COVID-19 was that we are banned from hospitals. Many of us were already committed to couples and families that we have come to love and care for, and with the increased level of uncertainty and fear, we knew that our clients needed us even more. As the numbers of COVID-19 cases continue to increase, it becomes clear that this crisis might last as long as a year or even more, raising a growing concern about doulas’ source of income. As upsetting and tormenting as this ban might be, the current crisis bears an opportunity; an opportunity to achieve work-life balance.
Our lives have been changing rapidly lately. In the past few weeks, the whole world has been reacting to COVID-19 with our fight-or-flight (FOF) response. Being alert and living every day on our survival mechanism might be as dangerous as the virus itself, if not more dangerous. We, birth workers, are experts in preventing or reversing the FOF response that leads to labor arrest. We are experts in managing the fear of pain and of what’s unpredictable or unknown. Psychotherapists might help their patients cope with anxiety and fear in a process that lasts weeks, months or years. However, we, birth workers, are first responders specializing in saving people from fear and doubt.
I have been practicing as a doula for almost three years. I’ve also certified in the Birth Coach Method as a birth support coach and am extremely grateful for the training I received under Neri Choma. I love this role of supporting families. My main goal is for them to feel supported and loved as they welcome their baby to the world. I was a teacher for over ten years prior to launching my doula career, so planning and organizing was a big part of what I did. I like structure. As a doula, I try to structure my prenatal sessions. It helps me get to know the needs and goals of my clients in a systematic way and to understand how to support them and meet them where they are at. As part of my service, I also fill in any educational gaps as needed. I want to help them understand their options.
But what happens when I have a client who is a doula? How do I inform her? Do I just offer labor support and skip all my sessions with her? I usually offer each client three to four sessions. This client didn’t need to practice the tools of labor support with me since she is a trained doula and prenatal yoga instructor. She also had taken a childbirth class with her partner. So I felt like the bulk of what I usually offer my clients was off the table.
I needed to go beyond informing and all the way to coaching.
Since the seventies, those who provide education and support to birthing individuals have all been called ‘Labor Coaches’. In that group are childbirth educators who teach about childbirth and deliver a body of knowledge, usually in a group setting. Also in that group are doulas who are trained to provide emotional, physical and informational continuous support throughout the birth. We all got used to thinking about childbirth as an event in which our role is to help the birth giver cope with labor strains while providing information, reassurance, and applying comfort measures.
On the other hand, coaching, a growing industry generating $11 billion in the USA, is an entirely different practice that stands by itself. It is the practice of leading competent and healthy individuals to optimally perform in order to achieve their goals.
Transformational Birth support coaches that are trained here at the Birth Coach Method, likewise, are also trained to coach expectant individuals towards achieving their desired birth experience.
It is my understanding that doulas try to protect themselves – their souls and their hearts – by being choosy about clients. They want to commit to those who demonstrate the highest level of commitment to physiological and unmedicated childbirth and to those who are also most likely to choose a like-minded caregiver.
Does an ‘Expert Position’ serve professionals in the field of birth support?
Do you consider yourself an expert in ‘how to give birth’? If you are a childbirth educator, a birth doula, a midwife or a labor and delivery medical staff member, I’m almost certain that there is a confident voice inside your head saying, “Yes, I know all about giving birth, it’s my profession and what I do for a living”. I believe that since the seventies, with the beginning of birth activism, birth givers have been torn between two types of “experts” – “medical experts” and “natural birth experts.”
Maybe it’s time to rethink our position: Can anyone be an expert and say how another person should give birth?
A couple of days ago I had a beautiful mentoring session with two local doulas; we will call them Iris and Lily. We were going over some challenging cases they experienced recently and exploring how the Birth Coach Method’s strategies and tools help. Pretty early in our discussion, I learned that their ‘typical birth clients’ represent some degree of polarity: Iris works only with clients who are strongly committed to an unmedicated birth. She feels that potential clients who are “willing to try [birthing] with no epidural but leave themselves open to the option of taking it” are not a good match for her. Lily said that her clients are hiring her in order to “Check the box” of doula services; meaning that they read the statistics showing doulas reduce cesarean rates and they are hiring her to avoid a cesarean.
The Art of Coaching for Childbirth is a practical guide inspiring every professional in the field of birth support to integrate the coaching principles, strategies, and relationships into their practice. From one blog post to another, and throughout my webinars, the coaching method has become a paradigm shift in the field of childbirth support. It has drastically changed the conversation from teaching about childbirth to individually coaching birth givers toward optimally performing throughout their journey of pregnancy and childbirth. Birth Coach Method has inspired birth doulas to shift from telling clients what they think is the best experience to asking questions, listening and exploring their belief system about childbirth, about themselves and their bodies, their strength and more.
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The most effective coaching questions and strategies to clarify your clients’ needs, expectations, challenges, or concerns arond their birth support group
Don’t you wish to see your clients building the best support group for childbirth? In this webinar, we are revisiting some of the most accepted notions and expectations in regards to birth support in order to suggest a client-centered coaching conversation about one’s support group for childbirth. Common expectations, like partners present at the birth, or the fact that the nurse can’t be a part of the support group as a representative of the medical system, are being revisited from a coaching perspective.